Hearthside Singing

My aunt is the singer of the family; everyone else likes to join in but unbeknownst, she's the best. We don't really have a set group of traditions for the holiday, other than waking up at six o'clock am, opening presents at half past the hour. It takes a lot of coffee and quite a bit of food for us to finish. This year, only my grandparents are going to be here for Christmas Eve and the next day. Sadly, I won't be able to stay up late with my aunt and help her cook French onion soup until one in the morning, watching Rick Steves' "Christmas in Europe" on PBS (don't judge). She's going to her fiancé's family's home. So, no half out of tune carols this year. I'll have to make due with the playlist that's on repeat on a cassette deck my father's had since he was probably about twenty-five. I'm going to be twenty in February, that's a bit terrifying to think about. Not the age, just the time gone by.

It's nice being in Vermont despite the damp, freezing, ridiculously chilling weather. It wasn't this bad when I left Chicago. Different state, different climate, right? This year, definitely, feels more like a vacation than coming back into my past. Even though I've only officially lived in the mid-west for a little under a year and a half, but most days it feels like longer. Well, off to eat. I'm always off to eat. I wonder why I make food after I write these. Drive/travel safely. Hope it's snowing where you are, or sunny, if that's what you prefer.

Short Term Happenings

Well, I lied just a bit. I'm still in Chicago at the moment; I'm leaving at three o'clock today, or a little before. It depends on whether or not the bus I have to catch to the Blue Line comes every fifteen minutes or three. Why? It's snowing finally, on the day I leave, of course. Laugh. I'm a little reluctant to leave for so long, I don't like being away from my apartment, or the city for that matter. But at least I get to breathe fresh air and see the stars for the first time in about a year.

Anyway, here's a short list of things I'm working on over the short few weeks I'll be away; most of them happening before I leave for Rome. xx.

• Book review
• Writing and editing at least a chapter/short story a week with my reading girls
• Running five days a week
• Getting back on a normal sleep schedule (the end of the semester always has me up until three and up at five or six)
• Cooking and baking more gluten + dairy free recipes
• Taking better care of my skin
• Drinking more water

(I'm sure there's more, there always is)
ps--> What happened with the Gossip Girl series finale. I mean, really? Come on. The part with Kristen Bell was hilarious, though, I'll admit that.

Here's a picture of Ben Whishaw because I've been re-watching The Hour for the third time because I have nothing better to do apparently.

Before I Leave

Finals are over (they have been since Wednesday the 12th)! I say this at the end of every semester, but literally, this has been the most stressful one yet. Everyone I've had class with, and all my friends and people I know haven't had the best. Maybe it's because summer dragged on for so long. We got out early last May because the NATO conference was downtown and they closed everything for precaution. Along with it being the hardest, I think I've grown more as a person and as a writer over the course of the past few months. It's so insane to think that in September I didn't even know what to expect.

So I'm already packed. Considering how superb my procrastination skills are when it comes to course work, when I'm getting ready to leave I make sure I'm well ahead of schedule. I guess it's the fear of leaving anything behind. I've already checked my carry on to make sure my passport is with me. Did I mention, I'm going to Rome? That was meant to sound over pretentious--it's an inside joke from one of my classes. We were talking about revising our "manuscripts" for our final grade, since we all turned in about 20-40 pages of a personal narrative. And then got on the sidebar conversation of sounding like dicks talking about having a lot of writing we've created. Crazy, right? But yeah, I'm excited to be heading off to Italy. I always feel ashamed admitting that I've never been out of North America. But, well, I haven't.

Revlon Lip Butter in Peach Parfait (I love it)

Catching up on The Hour

But yes; I'm done for the night. I need to go make some food before it spoils. I've watched Take this Waltz and am currently on The Producers (I've always had a thing for Matthew Broderick, it all started with Ferris). Off to make some rice pilaf and eat some of that salad that's been in my fridge for a while. I'll be back in Vermont the next time I write.

Sing Me to Sleep

Just some things I alway listen to once fall comes around/what I've been playing on repeat on my train rides home after class. Enjoy and such xx.

I've Been Listening to too much Broken Social Scene Lately

Well hello again (and again, and again and again). There are only three weeks of school left, a little less than a month. And that's absolutely terrifying considering I've just gotten the swing of this semester. Crazy, right? I'm reading The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami and well, it's going much better than 1Q84. There's still some weird descriptions of ears going on in this one, but the subject is still interesting. One of my professors calls him a "crock pot" writer; he just has so much shit going on in his novels, and they simmer and the ending result is delicious. Something like that. Murakami has such a beautiful insight into humanity and how we think; more specifically, how introverts see the world. All of his protagonists, or those I've read, are quiet, reserved people and it really speaks to me. "Is it possible, finally, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another?" starts the second chapter; only the second. "We convince ourselves that we know the other person well," he continues, "but do we really know anything important about anyone?" The other book Veronica is a reading assignment for class. It's interesting reading about the modeling scene in the 80's. But it's not something I would pick up on my own.

And so the editing begins.

As far as school goes, I currently have a chapter half written in one window, cursor bobbing incessantly.  That's been bothering me so much lately. That and staring at a computer screen for hours on end, and sitting. Jesus Christ sitting all day long. To think that I wanted a corner office and to wear heels to work every day. I'm only a student, and will be for the unforeseeable future, but still. You'd have to pay me a lofty price to walk in anything without arch support. I'm getting a terrible pinching sensation in my back, too. I should go back to the chiropractor, but you know. Money is always an issue. In other news? I went to a misfit's Thanksgiving dinner this year, which was nice. Not alone like last year. I fell asleep before nine the night before, woke up around 8:30 am (hey, still close to eleven hours of sleep) and watched The Hour in bed, which was amazing. I feel like I should have stayed longer at dinner, but I wanted to get home. Chicago's lovely weather temperament held up to it's reputation by starting off the day with a nice 65 degrees and turned quickly into a rainy, windy, cold mess.

***

I've been spending a little too much money on clothes recently (retail therapy will be the death of me), but sometimes you need it. There are about four more sweaters in my closet than a month ago. I really like this pink one I bought from h&m; it's super warm and soft, which is good considering all of our classrooms are ridiculously freezing. Heat's expensive though, I get it. The black sweater dress is something I bought at the Urban Outlet, and goes nicely with a pair of black tights and boots. I don't usually wear a lot of gold because I always feel like it washes out with my hair (which, if you don't know me is somewhere between a stubborn gingery-strawberry-blonde mess) but this actually goes well, edged out with the black.

***

My life would be in complete shambles if I didn't have these.

As far as organizing goes, I tend to be seriously anal about it. From scheduling to keeping up dates to having my apartment almost spotless (sometimes you're just too tired to do anything when you get home late from work/class and the days are so short now), I try to maintain a routine. Sundays are for cleaning up, tidying--I actually can't get anything done if my room is messy, it's so annoying--and mapping out what's going to happen during the week; what homework I can outline--so much of my writing could benefit from doing that more often. Do I actually get around to doing that? No, not usually. This semester I've been struggling with prioritizing. Balancing my very small social life with course work. So writing everything possible down into calendars and to-do lists is my way of settling, of taking control. When I get home from a long day of classes I feel super frazzled, like I barely have a hold of my life. This Thanksgiving break has been such a relief for me. I've finally have time to breathe. There's still work to be done, but the point of the matter is I'm relaxed for the first time since August. I'm going into these last few weeks with at least a stronger idea of how my final projects are going to turn out. And I'm thankful for that. So, here goes nothing.

I'll be posting more, I think (haha, more projects, aren't I self-deprecating). One will be up on Tuesday and then Friday. I'm going to try and make some gluten-free apple pie. We're having a small holiday feast on Saturday and then going to a musical version of The Room. Which, I don't know about you, sounds absolutely hilarious.

From October

My little glass heart broke sometime back in October, I think. I was getting mail in the entryway and dropped it on the tile; I recently found the missing piece and glued them all back together, but it seems not to be holding up too well.