Molskine Absolute

Perhaps this is something more fitting for Figurines, but I really do have an obsession with all things Moleskine. It's a little concerning how much I spend on them per year, but it fits the ticket. You know?The newest one is this white, blank-paged journal I bought at Paper Source (aka heaven on Earth) has yet to be used. I'm currently working halfway through a graph paper purple thing I've had since I was 17 and never used. It's different writing in constraints of squares. More to come xx.

Throwback Thursday

Sometimes you find really great photos of yourself at 18 with self-cut bangs and wearing one of your classmate's removable vests inside-out. I deleted the facebook I had since 2007 a year and a half ago--permanently. A lot of photos that were taken of me (most of them absolutely horrible, I might add. I don't let people take pictures that often) were out of reach. Last fall I made a new account to connect with my class that was traveling abroad to Rome; and then I came across these from an old high school friend. These were taken during my last block of the day, AP Lit. What gems.

 Oh god, did I really layer my hair like that?

What Matters

Figurines is a new blog I've started with a couple of my very close friends, Alex and Caitlyn. It's dedicated to writing, mainly craft and other elements that go into it. We've been planning on launching it since early March, and now it's up and running! There will be new posts every week, about four of them. So please check it out! Writing's (obviously) a huge portion of my life, and I don't know where I'd be without it.

Furry Happy Monsters

This is Egan. He's been frisky every since I got up this morning, I'm surprised I got any pictures of him.

Work Spaces

Since semester's end, I've been working on projects from home. Mainly a book review, and editing friends' manuscripts and stories. I've probably said that a million times by now. If I repeat something enough, I'll end up adhering to it. That's how it works, right?

My sunroom has been poorly neglected since I moved in to my apartment on the northside. It's kinda grungy, if you can't tell from the photo. The table and chair are my mother's from when she lived in Moscow (Vermont, not in Russia. That would be a cooler story, but the one in the 802 is a small, minuscule town outside of Stowe). It's been a nice breezy place to work in the mornings since the sun doesn't hit this side until 1 pm. Everyone's flowers are blooming in the neighborhood, and lilac has been the top scent for the past few days. Currently listening to: Modern Vampires of the City and feeling pretty damn great.

Pre-Summer Favorites

This works best in my hair. Finally! It took me twenty years.

I'm not really one for buying tops, I never think of getting shirts or blouses until it's too late. I don't fit into a lot of what I own anymore, and most of what I had turned in to running clothes. But, I got some red-hot shorts for summer and this skirt for $10 at h&m on sale, as well as the shoes.  And of course, I can't go long without finding books that I have to buy. More books. I think that's all I show on here. Well, back to watching Copper and reading. Amongst other things.

 

Sweet Quinoa

Ever since I found out I had a gluten intolerance, quinoa has been a savoir for my diet. It's full of protein and tastes pretty great if you season it correctly. My mother used to get Eating Well since I was about eight, which is where the recipe for these almond butter- quinoa blondies are from; these are completely lactose-free as well. I used Earth Balance and dairy-free chocolate chips, although I did use eggs so they're not vegan. Their recipes can be hit or miss, but this hits the spot. I have a hard time finding desserts that taste decent. I didn't grind the quinoa up enough for the flour, which is part of the problem--mine are pretty grainy and you crunch on it sometimes. But other than that, they taste fine. I've been eating almond butter sandwiches with the leftover jar I bought at Trader Joe's. My heart's still with peanut butter, but I'll manage. Other than that, I've been catching up on Mad Men (what's going on in this season) and watched the new Arrested Development and Top of the Lake on Netflix. Time to start the real work, grow up. Have to make money so I can pay for those hundred dollar 30 day CTA passes this summer. For Memorial Day I'm headed down to LaGrange to hang out with a few friends, just hope it doesn't rain on us. I'm going to order a huge salad for dinner, all I ate yesterday were chips and popcorn. Oy. 

I've been drinking a lot of flax milk recently. It's less thick than almond.

I don't own a food processor (yet) so I used a coffee grinder instead.

Three Years Time

Sometimes we just need a change. Can you believe it's been three years since I cut my hair this short?

Blood, Kafka and some Rivers

Finally over the end of semester blues. In the end of August, I'll have been in Chicago for two years, and just one for how long I've lived in my apartment. Not to be hoagy, but time does go by a lot faster when you're not waiting for it. 

This week I'm left applying for jobs (I know--I should have been more proactive about it) and filling out cover letters for internships, as well. I have the entire week to do that, fit in some interviews and slip in some time to hang out with friends. I'm going to spend time this morning completely glued to my laptop. Since I've gotten my own office space, I find myself working more and more. Which, I feel pretty good about.

Here are some books I've got on ye-olde summer list. I'm currently breezing through Blood Meridian, which kind of makes me want to drop everything in Chicago and move out west with a few hundred in my back pocket, buy a beat up old mule and ride through the desert. But you know, that's not going to happen.  If anyone has any reading suggestions, please feel free to leave any. I'm open to anything.

Summer Resolutions

I was inspired by this video and although it's a few weeks after it's been up, I've been thinking about it ever since. Ways to better myself, to make sure I'm doing the best that I can, and to just better myself on a whole. So: here it is. Hopefully, my intentions putting it on here will help me stick to what it is that I hope to accomplish.

• Be nicer to people, and be optimistic about those I've just met.
• Healthier life choices: don't drink the entire bottle of wine, just because. Save it for later, for another dinner, for another time.
• Exercise every day. It makes me feel better, and I've let it slip because I had so much work, and that affected my daily life in a huge way.
• Don't laze around, get up, get going early and enjoy the sunshine. Or rain, or whatever.
• Write everyday. Take time to work on your own as well as giving feedback on others.
• Go out more, although that's hindered for a few reasons. Find ways to get around that.
• Make a tighter budget, follow that strictly. But also treating myself when I need it. Like buying a pair of cute heels.

I slept for 10 hours for the first time in a long time.

It's one of those mornings where the air is damp and chilly, and I'm in a sweater waiting for it to rain. Since a couple of weeks ago, I've started living alone, everything I own spread in the three habitable rooms in my apartment. It makes you feel thin and stretched out. But once I started taking all of my school and paper work out of my bedroom and moving it into what's now my office, everything's starting to feel in place. The emptiness is something I still have to get used to, without another person living here. That and I need to get shelves and filing cabinets. My books are piled up on the opposite wall of where I'm sitting, all of my old binders and notebooks shoved in the corner to the right of my desk.

Yesterday was my last day of work and school. I still have to drop off some student folders and a final assignment that my class had an extension on. Then I'm going to wander around Manifest (our college's end of the year celebration/showcase of student work) until five, and then I'm meeting up with a friend for some dinner. Then after that, a housewarming party. It's a busy day to say the least.

Summer's usually when I like to busy myself with a lot of work, personal and job-wise. Which, I'm still looking for at the moment. Every summer when I apply for a new one, I'm reminded about how aggressively you need to put yourself out there. Trying not to stress out too much about it, something will come. My music's too loud, I should probably go turn it down. I have a few of my friends' manuscripts that I'm going over and then a book review to work on.

I guess what I was mainly going to write about was something a classmate said of mine. I need to "be kind to my writing" over break. This past semester I kind of let my personal writing slip, I paid more attention to working with my tutees and spent more time on my internship. With that said, I pushed out a lot of material, but I guess the best realization I've had this semester has been wanting to teach. No real writing breakthroughs. Next fall I'm taking a Practice Teaching: Classroom course, along with a publishing one and my regular Advanced Fiction. Everything's crunching down. I have a year and a half left to study. That's kind of terrifying now that I think about it. But there we have it.

Cold Feet on a Saturday

 

Sometimes you have to read something over, and over again until it means nothing to you anymore. It's been a shitty two weeks, not going to lie. Between having carpal tunnel, the amount of work piling up that I'm not going to finish in a timely way (because of old bad habits, amongst other things), I don't know. It's buckling down to the last few weeks of the semester. I peeled off all the polish on my nails last night in the shower. I'm just rambling now. Here's a song for you, it's from Drive. I've been in the mood to watch it for awhile, maybe tonight's the night.

Crossing Out To-Do's Eliminates Stress. Seriously.

I do this thing where I have three to-do list notebooks and have to check off every single thing for each of them, or close to it before I make a next one for the following day. Since Saturday, I've been having dexterity issues in both of my hands, and in my right it's been getting worse. I'm pretty sure it's a pinched nerve? It's painful to the point where I can barely type, and can't write longhand. Why are you typing, Fallon? You're an idiot. Good question. I have to turn in something tomorrow, after I go to the doctor, so I don't really have a choice, do I?

In my planner, I like to add as many notes as possible, so when I look back on them, I can remember what I needed to do. This is a little insert I taped in with the two schedules and courses I wanted to take for next semester. There's a satisfying feeling looking back at all the work you've done, all the appointments, scheduling, important memos (which I have few of) you've accomplished and/or received. It's almost better than keeping a journal of some sorts. Almost. 

The past two weeks have been insane. Just a lot of work that needs to be done, and Jesus Christ, I only have four weeks left of the semester. I thought it was still March the other day. Nope. Funny how that creeps up on you, just when you feel you've got the swing of things once again. The end of this one is going to be applying to more internships, rewriting and working on final essays (my favorite!), going to a few readings, and hopefully not damaging whatever it is that needs to be healed. Sleep would be nice to fit in there somewhere, too. Oh, sleep. I've been getting up naturally at 7:00, 7:30 recently. It's been nice, compared to waking up in the dark. 

My mother likes to buy me things to help me relieve stress. This is one of them. (It works for about two minutes then I forget I've applied it, whoops.)

A little pencil box I've deemed a storage unit for all the things that used to clutter up my workspace.

 

 Kimbra's one of those artists that came into my life at the right time. I draw a lot of inspiration from her raw voice. She's a tiny powerhouse, and I'd like to think that I could be the same. Seeing her last fall at Metro was an absolutely incredible experience, she's so down to earth and god damn, girl can sing. The end of the week came a lot faster than expected, but overall it wasn't a bad one. Have a good weekend, etc.

Halfway through the semester, days booked with whatever it is they're booked with, and I finally feel like I have control of what I'm doing. I'm sure that'll fall through my fingers soon, though. It always does. I guess I'll just revel in it for now, watch some more of The West Wing and fall asleep. Or do some edits, and journal a little bit.

Hey, it's finally time we met.

 Well, I'd say it's probably time for a better introduction than the one I did about a year ago? Yeah, it is.
Since moving to the midwest people have actually been able to (more so than in New England) pronounce my name correctly: Fallon--> "Fal-lynn." Simple, right? Apparently not. As of right now, I'm a barely-twenty-something writing student in Chicago, and probably don't sleep enough and drink too much caffeine. But then again, who doesn't? This blog is really just a way to track what I'm doing. For myself, for others, since we live in an age of over-exploitation, and human curiosity tends to result in voyeurism.

But if you'd like to know a little more about me than what I write here, I'll give you a list. I like lists.

A lot.

• I try to run every day, it keeps me from having to take any happy pills. Plus, I like the rush.
• Over the past two years I've developed (or just realized which, I'm more likely to believe, considering I always had horrible stomach aches growing up) a gluten and dairy intolerance. 
• I'm a vegetarian because we watched a PBS special on how Melville got the inspiration for Moby Dick junior year of high school, and in the reenactment they showed the surviving sailors eating the "flesh" of one of their crew members. It looked like turkey meat, which caused me to start dry heaving in the middle of class. It took me about two weeks of still eating dead animals to realize that I couldn't anymore because that image was too haunting. Yeah. That's why. I'm not going to yell at you if you eat meat, don't worry. Just don't smear it all over my face, or clothes. Or...I don't know where I'm going with this.
• Stress takes up a lot of my day. So much so, that my mother sends me aroma-therapy candles. And something called "Blue-Oil" from Aveda that you're supposed to rub on your temples and along the back of your neck. It smells like peppermint and works for about half an hour. It's the though that counts.
• I go through chapstick like nobody's business.
• Preferred pen to write in: Pilot G-2, 0.38 tip. I have a nice fountain pen, too, but I have to buy more ink for it. 
• Currently listening to: The Shins, Chutes Too Narrow.
• Supposed to: be prepping for an oral presentation for my Tutor Training class tomorrow. I'm almost there. I'm breathing, I promise.
• I rewash plastic baggies because it's cheaper than buying new ones. 
• Cleaning, more than anything, calms me down. Besides a good, long run.

That's it for today. I'll leave you with my good side. 

Waking Up for Spring

Over the past week I've found small things to get angry at myself for. Things like not getting up at 7:30 am, or forgetting to put papers away. Cluttering up tables and my desk. Not doing the dishes. Not doing enough writing (I've put in six pages of an essay about running and it's correlation to my writing, four instances to expand some personal narrative material, another essay, I've edited two pieces for submission, other things for friends and some book reviews--I guess that's not enough?). Not being healthy. Watching too much of The West Wing (I'm almost through season 4, apparently).

sunflowers

currently on the reading list

I have however, purchased a new futon cover, cleaned my entire apartment (it took three days), and have gone running almost every day since classes got out. It's been refreshing. I tend to get in these horrible slumps when a lot of work starts piling up. After a few days of sitting on the couch--in this break's case, watching both seasons of Teen Wolf. I swear, I'm twenty--and moping, I repaint my nails and take a long shower. That usually perks me right up. I even bought some more lipstick, and spent too much money on groceries. I like cooking, which I've been doing a lot more of recently. The one white hair in my right eyebrow even grew back, but whatever. I feel a lot better. March tends to be a shitty month in general. Probably because it's been a very wintery March. Last year it was in the eighties. I love the north but I'm happy to see the sun again. I got to run in shorts yesterday. It's a freaking miracle.

Yesterday I got to hang out with my friends Chris and Bryan for the latter part of the morning until about 1 pm. We went to Do-Rite Donuts and hung around downtown for about half an hour before we went off to Wicker Park. We were going to walk up Michigan because it was absolutely beautiful out, then Chris had mentioned that he wanted to go to Reckless Records. The one downtown's fine, but the one on Milwaukee's a lot better, and he'd never been so Bryan and I took him there. I live in a super residential neighborhood on the north side, made up of families and lots of dogs (puppies!), so I always think it's weird to be around people close in my age other than being around on campus. Not that it's weird, it's just, well, odd.

The velcro command strips have proven their worth since I bought them at CVS earlier this week. I finally got to put up my "Washroom" sign above the bathroom and a little key hook. Has it already been that long? Jesus classes start up on Monday again. I like working from home, especially when it's a lot cleaner. Everything flows in it's natural state. Maybe I should open the kitchen window for some air. Oh wait, just kidding there's construction on the building across the alley from mine. But oh well. Time to finish The Trial and work on editing some things that are due next week. Have a good weekend. There are some things coming up that I'll be posting. Be patient. I'm not sure if I said that for my own benefit or for anyone who reads this. 

(I like to organize and re-organize, it eliminates stress)

new (but old) tunes

Roma, Caput Mundi

From the brothel in Pompeii

I was fortunate enough to go to Rome for two weeks, let alone take a class there with some of the most amazing people I've ever met. It's crazy to think that such a short amount of time brings you closer with people. The setbacks are overruled by the amazing sixteen days I spent there.

Rome had me thinking a lot about nostalgia, specifically the objects and places we associate with it. Things that trigger memories. I have a card from a restaurant my friend Aimee brought a few of us to, and I found it in my planner  a couple of days ago. Turning it over, the images of the checkered tables came back to life, the cold, frigid air of the night felt harsh in my lungs. I remembered that I didn't have gloves on me, considering it had been in the fifties the entire time we were there, why would I need to carry them around? We went to a gelato place in the Pantheon neighborhood before (Soy gelato, soy gelato, soy gelato--it was amazing), who cares about spoiling dinner? It was our last night there. That's the worst part of any trip, realizing you're about to leave.

For the first time while I was there, I felt homesick. For my apartment, where I'm sitting now. I missed looking out onto the park across the road,  I missed walking up three flights of stairs after work, fingers frozen and mail tucked under my arm. That feeling somehow enhanced my experience. Rome is overstimulating in some ways, so much is going on. I hate to be a tourist that looks up at the buildings, but the architecture is layer upon layer. Culture on top of culture. I feel like I didn't take in enough, didn't step into the corners where I could have. I never made it to Trastevere, and I wish I had. The miles I walked are printed on the warn down treads and heels of my shoes. There's an entire journal full of writing and tickets used from museums and metro passes. Roma was well loved.

( I want to go back. )

So:

1. Three inches of my hair have been trimmed off and now it's layered again and looks like a normal person's hair instead of a crazy moor-roaming woman's. I don't live anywhere near a moor, but that's what I'd like to imagine how it looked at the time.
2. I'm behind in all of my reading! What else is new?
3. Today consists of making a raw blueberry tart with a pretty lattice covering, as well as a Christmas-eve-eve dinner with my mother's family and a lovely lunch with Meg.
4. Have I mentioned how much food I've eaten since I've returned? Even though they don't like to openly admit that they're extremely Italian in their ways, my mother's family force feeds you if you look skinny. "Oh, you look so good! Eat this entire shovel full of vegetables and bread--it's gluten free, I bought it just for you, honey--and oh my, look I guess I made some dessert!" Or, in my aunt's case, "Look, no one's around," and commence pouring a very healthy glass of wine. Not that anyone cares, we just pretend it's like sneaking around. As much as I love cooking, I do enjoy having meals prepared for me.
5. I need to go on a run after lunch.
6. And also take photos because this is getting ridiculous.
7. There's a lot of snow outside, finally. And I heard of that storm in the midwest that I missed. Really?

Author's note: This was from awhile ago, I guess rereading it brought some laughter to my empty apartment. I'll post an update from Rome in a little while. Meaning tomorrow, most likely, or later today. --Fallon