Hearthside Singing

My aunt is the singer of the family; everyone else likes to join in but unbeknownst, she's the best. We don't really have a set group of traditions for the holiday, other than waking up at six o'clock am, opening presents at half past the hour. It takes a lot of coffee and quite a bit of food for us to finish. This year, only my grandparents are going to be here for Christmas Eve and the next day. Sadly, I won't be able to stay up late with my aunt and help her cook French onion soup until one in the morning, watching Rick Steves' "Christmas in Europe" on PBS (don't judge). She's going to her fiancé's family's home. So, no half out of tune carols this year. I'll have to make due with the playlist that's on repeat on a cassette deck my father's had since he was probably about twenty-five. I'm going to be twenty in February, that's a bit terrifying to think about. Not the age, just the time gone by.

It's nice being in Vermont despite the damp, freezing, ridiculously chilling weather. It wasn't this bad when I left Chicago. Different state, different climate, right? This year, definitely, feels more like a vacation than coming back into my past. Even though I've only officially lived in the mid-west for a little under a year and a half, but most days it feels like longer. Well, off to eat. I'm always off to eat. I wonder why I make food after I write these. Drive/travel safely. Hope it's snowing where you are, or sunny, if that's what you prefer.

Short Term Happenings

Well, I lied just a bit. I'm still in Chicago at the moment; I'm leaving at three o'clock today, or a little before. It depends on whether or not the bus I have to catch to the Blue Line comes every fifteen minutes or three. Why? It's snowing finally, on the day I leave, of course. Laugh. I'm a little reluctant to leave for so long, I don't like being away from my apartment, or the city for that matter. But at least I get to breathe fresh air and see the stars for the first time in about a year.

Anyway, here's a short list of things I'm working on over the short few weeks I'll be away; most of them happening before I leave for Rome. xx.

• Book review
• Writing and editing at least a chapter/short story a week with my reading girls
• Running five days a week
• Getting back on a normal sleep schedule (the end of the semester always has me up until three and up at five or six)
• Cooking and baking more gluten + dairy free recipes
• Taking better care of my skin
• Drinking more water

(I'm sure there's more, there always is)
ps--> What happened with the Gossip Girl series finale. I mean, really? Come on. The part with Kristen Bell was hilarious, though, I'll admit that.

Here's a picture of Ben Whishaw because I've been re-watching The Hour for the third time because I have nothing better to do apparently.

Before I Leave

Finals are over (they have been since Wednesday the 12th)! I say this at the end of every semester, but literally, this has been the most stressful one yet. Everyone I've had class with, and all my friends and people I know haven't had the best. Maybe it's because summer dragged on for so long. We got out early last May because the NATO conference was downtown and they closed everything for precaution. Along with it being the hardest, I think I've grown more as a person and as a writer over the course of the past few months. It's so insane to think that in September I didn't even know what to expect.

So I'm already packed. Considering how superb my procrastination skills are when it comes to course work, when I'm getting ready to leave I make sure I'm well ahead of schedule. I guess it's the fear of leaving anything behind. I've already checked my carry on to make sure my passport is with me. Did I mention, I'm going to Rome? That was meant to sound over pretentious--it's an inside joke from one of my classes. We were talking about revising our "manuscripts" for our final grade, since we all turned in about 20-40 pages of a personal narrative. And then got on the sidebar conversation of sounding like dicks talking about having a lot of writing we've created. Crazy, right? But yeah, I'm excited to be heading off to Italy. I always feel ashamed admitting that I've never been out of North America. But, well, I haven't.

Revlon Lip Butter in Peach Parfait (I love it)

Catching up on The Hour

But yes; I'm done for the night. I need to go make some food before it spoils. I've watched Take this Waltz and am currently on The Producers (I've always had a thing for Matthew Broderick, it all started with Ferris). Off to make some rice pilaf and eat some of that salad that's been in my fridge for a while. I'll be back in Vermont the next time I write.

Sing Me to Sleep

Just some things I alway listen to once fall comes around/what I've been playing on repeat on my train rides home after class. Enjoy and such xx.

I've Been Listening to too much Broken Social Scene Lately

Well hello again (and again, and again and again). There are only three weeks of school left, a little less than a month. And that's absolutely terrifying considering I've just gotten the swing of this semester. Crazy, right? I'm reading The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami and well, it's going much better than 1Q84. There's still some weird descriptions of ears going on in this one, but the subject is still interesting. One of my professors calls him a "crock pot" writer; he just has so much shit going on in his novels, and they simmer and the ending result is delicious. Something like that. Murakami has such a beautiful insight into humanity and how we think; more specifically, how introverts see the world. All of his protagonists, or those I've read, are quiet, reserved people and it really speaks to me. "Is it possible, finally, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another?" starts the second chapter; only the second. "We convince ourselves that we know the other person well," he continues, "but do we really know anything important about anyone?" The other book Veronica is a reading assignment for class. It's interesting reading about the modeling scene in the 80's. But it's not something I would pick up on my own.

And so the editing begins.

As far as school goes, I currently have a chapter half written in one window, cursor bobbing incessantly.  That's been bothering me so much lately. That and staring at a computer screen for hours on end, and sitting. Jesus Christ sitting all day long. To think that I wanted a corner office and to wear heels to work every day. I'm only a student, and will be for the unforeseeable future, but still. You'd have to pay me a lofty price to walk in anything without arch support. I'm getting a terrible pinching sensation in my back, too. I should go back to the chiropractor, but you know. Money is always an issue. In other news? I went to a misfit's Thanksgiving dinner this year, which was nice. Not alone like last year. I fell asleep before nine the night before, woke up around 8:30 am (hey, still close to eleven hours of sleep) and watched The Hour in bed, which was amazing. I feel like I should have stayed longer at dinner, but I wanted to get home. Chicago's lovely weather temperament held up to it's reputation by starting off the day with a nice 65 degrees and turned quickly into a rainy, windy, cold mess.

***

I've been spending a little too much money on clothes recently (retail therapy will be the death of me), but sometimes you need it. There are about four more sweaters in my closet than a month ago. I really like this pink one I bought from h&m; it's super warm and soft, which is good considering all of our classrooms are ridiculously freezing. Heat's expensive though, I get it. The black sweater dress is something I bought at the Urban Outlet, and goes nicely with a pair of black tights and boots. I don't usually wear a lot of gold because I always feel like it washes out with my hair (which, if you don't know me is somewhere between a stubborn gingery-strawberry-blonde mess) but this actually goes well, edged out with the black.

***

My life would be in complete shambles if I didn't have these.

As far as organizing goes, I tend to be seriously anal about it. From scheduling to keeping up dates to having my apartment almost spotless (sometimes you're just too tired to do anything when you get home late from work/class and the days are so short now), I try to maintain a routine. Sundays are for cleaning up, tidying--I actually can't get anything done if my room is messy, it's so annoying--and mapping out what's going to happen during the week; what homework I can outline--so much of my writing could benefit from doing that more often. Do I actually get around to doing that? No, not usually. This semester I've been struggling with prioritizing. Balancing my very small social life with course work. So writing everything possible down into calendars and to-do lists is my way of settling, of taking control. When I get home from a long day of classes I feel super frazzled, like I barely have a hold of my life. This Thanksgiving break has been such a relief for me. I've finally have time to breathe. There's still work to be done, but the point of the matter is I'm relaxed for the first time since August. I'm going into these last few weeks with at least a stronger idea of how my final projects are going to turn out. And I'm thankful for that. So, here goes nothing.

I'll be posting more, I think (haha, more projects, aren't I self-deprecating). One will be up on Tuesday and then Friday. I'm going to try and make some gluten-free apple pie. We're having a small holiday feast on Saturday and then going to a musical version of The Room. Which, I don't know about you, sounds absolutely hilarious.

From October

My little glass heart broke sometime back in October, I think. I was getting mail in the entryway and dropped it on the tile; I recently found the missing piece and glued them all back together, but it seems not to be holding up too well.

Tis Autumn

So I've been absent for a little while. Not that it's been that long at all, but so it goes.

This semester has been full of work (which one hasn't, aren't you bringing in the news darling?) and I've been swamped between that and trying to have a social life. I recently bought some tickets to go see Kimbra next month at Metro with one of my girlfriends, so that's going to be loads and loads of fun and I can't wait. Other than that I'm currently reading The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater and A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with a friend in town and that'll be good fun, yes?

I've been listening to a lot of good music lately--I'm so happy that Band of Horses came out with their new album finally. They tend to be a part of my fall playlist cycle. Who else is coming out with new stuff? Also, might I add, I'm so happy it's finally sweater season. There's nothing comfier than a nice sweater with a pair of skinny jeans and thick socks or a pair of slippers.

My roommate and I are taking a study break at five to finally watch the new Doctor Who episode that came out a few hours ago, or maybe it was only one.  We don't have actual tv, and mostly watch netflix on the wii or xbox. So our Saturday version of sitting around drinking a beer or a glass of wine usually is of us congregating around my dinky little laptop and intently watching and critiquing what's happening throughout the episode. Followed by a short commentatry on what we thought of it. Although today I think we're going to be drinking tea and promptly afterwords having some peanut-butter oreos and dinner. We're heading out to a show around quarter till eight. With that said, I've been avoiding the internet since the episode aired, since they're offing the Ponds; they've been around for most of Eleven's lifespan and I'm about ready for someone new. Haha, it's a bit odd for me to be talking about Doctor Who somewhere else instead of in person with my friends who keep up with it.

Nothing much left to report. Have a lovely rest of the weekend.
xx

From 8.22.12

All I wanted the other day was cheesits and a coke. Both make me terribly sick. What a pity.

I also wanted to be lying next to somebody, close enough that our foreheads were barely touching. We would be whispering each other stories. But that's some far-fetched idea of love, something I've never and am feeling now I won't ever have.

Recently I've started a disliking for children. I'm not sure where it's come from, tiredness, annoyance. The lack of silence. Who knows.

The Air & Water show was this past weekend. All during work days they would fly up here practicing their maneuvers. I hate the sound of jets. Their turbines and sonic sound gives me this unsettling ripple in the pit of my stomach. Some brought-back fear from childhood, when all that terror struck in the second week of September. They flew by us then too, from Plattsburg. And that was so far away, but brought back the memory so close.

I read The Bell Jar in one day. It wasn't as depressing as I'd thought it'd be. It is intimate with the simplicity of letter writing-however not uneducated. That brought back horrible memories as well. Of being half insane. Whenever I get drunk and feel nostalgic, sadly philosophical I go back to those moments and always ask whomever is nearest- "What if?"

There are these yappy dogs that make me want to scream. Their voices are so high pitched.

I got really angry at myself today studying French because my handwriting wasn't neat enough.

It's been rough at work and instead of venting to people I vented here. It feels good. Off to take a shower and shave. I have to pick my mother and aunt up at the airport tomorrow. Kill joy.

______
This is from a couple of weeks ago and already the mood and feeling has changed, been forgotten. Good night and sweet dreams xx

Let's Revamp this, Shall We?

Hello. I'm not very good at keeping these things up to date, tumblr is just so much easier you know? It's like you don't have to put any effort into it, just click reblog and poof! It's all done. Anyways, it's been absolutely lovely in Chicago for the past couple of weeks, and by that I mean it's cooled down from the high temperatures we had in July. It's been really great running weather, although I'm sad to see the sun setting earlier and earlier each day. Nothing much as been going on, work and general errands and such.

Here's my breakfast, just in case you'd like to see it.

The end of August is one of my favorite times of the year; maybe it's the anticipation of classes starting up again after Labor Day, the fact that fall is coming (my favorite season) and my friends are returning from their summers. My roommate is finally coming back next Sunday, which happens to be the day my mother and aunt are leaving after their short three day visit. I'm actually excited to see them, and in a way brings closure in starting the new semester.

When I was little my mother gave me the L.L Bean catalogue and told me to fold any page in half toward the spine that had a shirt or dress I wanted, or thought I'd like for the school year. And being under the age of ten, of course I just about folded every single page in the girl's section. After narrowing down the choices, she circled the item number and called in to order--which is something so odd now, considering most days we order online or go to actual shops. Which we could have very easily done, however I don't think Walmart has nearly as nice of stuff as L.L Bean does. Then two weeks later or thereabouts the UPS would drop off a box big enough for me to hide in by our barn door, and after swimming lessons or errands we would come home and open it, peel off the plastic wrappings. My mother would hold the clothes up to me to make sure they would fit correctly. I've always been small so some of them I grew into, and others just hung loose. You can't have everything. I'm really excited for them to come, I haven't seen my mother since she and my father helped Colin and I move into our apartment, and my aunt since Christmas.

Finally got new headphones.

 Well, I think that's all for today. I have to finish cleaning out the sunroom and reorganize the cleaning closet. Jane Eyre has been going rather slow in terms of reading; don't get me wrong I love it, it's wonderful and brilliant and possibly my favorite of the Brontë sisters', but I don't know. My mind is elsewhere trying to prepare for the gaggle of people who are going to be in and out of the apartment in the next week. Off to study French now, since my vocabulary is deplorable. More on the books later. Happy Sunday.

Currently reading: Jane Eyre, The Bell Jar, The Catcher in the Rye
Music of the day: Doctor Who Series Six Soundtrack, Murray Gold
Weeks left until fall semester: Just about two

Vanity, and Element of Faerie Tale

I've started reading Atwood again. Lady Oracle this time. I'm enjoying it, the frivolousness of Joan's character, her long red hair, how envious everyone is of it. Without sounding too ego-centrical, I know how that is. It's so hard for me to cut my hair, it always has been. I'm too "sentimental" as Joan put it, and in the worst possible way. It's grown so thick as I've aged and perhaps it's because three summers ago I decided it would be a good idea to cut it all off that I'm terrified of getting it trimmed. Last week I took the 22 bus up to Lakeview to get a trim, and well, I don't think two inches is a "trim" per say but hey. Everyone keeps trying to convince me that it looks alright shorter but needless to say I've worn it up more than usual.

During my hair appointment women kept walking by telling me how beautiful it was, "Don't ever color it," they warned. "I know so many people who come in here for that color and fry their hair, it ruins it. Don't ever give it away like that." "I won't," I promised, to who I'm not sure. But sometimes I want to dye it brown, an unnoticeable shade. It's so funny, moving to a city after living in the middle of nowhere for so long and subconsciously, jokingly even, wanting to blend in with everyone else. How can that make any sense? Although, I can't complain when people at the grocery store compliment me on it, or when other women say in jealous tones how they wish they could have a shade of red that blends in with every color imaginable. It's such a small, small thing that brightens my day and in the end spirals back down to a very vain concept. I can't boast for having high self-esteem but when I get a compliment I generally try to take it with good graces. I have bad hair days like everyone, but I think it's safe to say if there's one thing I do love about my body, it's my hair. Something gold, something red like south western sand.

Which brings me to the explanation of the title of this blog, as well as the whole faerie tale "thing" going on with it. Two years ago I took a class on classic story telling and analysis of children's folklore and faerie tales. "Bluebeard" and all its variants is coincidentally my favorite, it's so dark and so prevalent even in today's world, same goes for any of the others. It's so interesting, everything I'm learning now, both in classes as well as just life in general and how much these stories have influenced our world. The "elements" such as vanity, beauty and violence, are so apparent (to me at least) walking down the street, in the magazines and books we read. Television, music etc. It's a lot to absorb, but I enjoy it and feel more informed because of it.

Other than that an introduction, yes? Hello and everything, Je m'appelle Fallon or Me llamo Fallon, whichever you prefer. I'm a student in Chicago, originally from the east cost of the US, however you will find me not often mentioning that region. There's a reason it's known as District 13 (laugh). To be simple I read so so much and write every day, or at least try to. To-Do lists are the only things that keep me going and I'm trying to get back into running. Quick sum up of everything else: vegetarian, size 36 shoes (hint hint wink wink little glass slipper cough), lover of pearls, letter writing, art, literature and reading too much Hemingway this semester hasn't done me any good. That's it I suppose, for now at least. What am I going to do with this? Thoughts mostly. I have a tumblr, and I feel that's not really the place for those. Maybe I just needed this to fill the gap in facebook non-existence-ness. Off to read for tonight, I took the day off from coursework and am regretting it just a little. Hope tomorrow is sunnier/warmer. Chicago took a nose dive in weather the past few weeks after it being in the eighties for most of March. Adios, Au Revoir et al. xoxo.

Music for the day: Simon & Garfunkel, Stars, The National
Books: Lady Oracle, La Perdida, Mockingjay
Weeks left of Spring Semester: 4